To start this off lets just jump right into the fact that I've known pretty much my entire life that I wanted 3 kids.... Kyle on the other hand was not sold haha. He had always said "lets have 2 and then see what happens" so I agreed and... and here we are lol but it wasn't just that easy...
When Hunter was about 9 months old we knew that we were ready for the second and very shortly after that, I got a positive test. I made Hunter this adorable shirt that said "Every superhero needs a sidekick, only child expiry April 2015" I waited until Kyle came home to show him and tell him the news. We shared it with our parents and closest friends and were super excited!
On August 2nd that year (just a couple of weeks before Hunters first birthday and our 2 year wedding anniversary) I was shooting one of our best friends Weddings while Kyle was a groomsmen and I knew something wasn't right. I was about 6-7 weeks along and about half way through the day I started bleeding. The next day on August 3rd, the anniversary of my Dads death, I had a miscarriage. I was devastated. It was emotionally all too much to handle in one day. After a few days I found out that I was not alone, that so many women also experienced this which made me feel so much less alone in what I was going through. A couple of weeks later we had talked about when we would start to try again and Kyle was so incredibly supportive of my grief. He made it very clear that it was completely my decision based on how I was feeling and dealing with it all. I knew that I wanted them to be close and we would take what life was giving us however it happened.
In October 2014 I decided to take a pregnancy test this time (for the firs time) I took it while Kyle was actually home lol. I came out of the bathroom with a positive test and just started crying. I was excited and very happy but also so incredibly worried and still grieving from our loss. The first few weeks were hard just taking it day by day and wondering how things would turn out.
I knew my entire pregnancy with Hunter that he was a boy (for those that don't know, we are those crazy people who actually like the surprise at the end and don't find out the gender haha) I also knew that I wanted a girl. Throughout my pregnancy with Karis I honestly I had no idea what she was. My pregnancy was different than Hunters, and I just remember rubbing my tummy saying "please be a girl, I'll love you just as much if you are a boy... but please be a girl" hahaha. Kyle's family is prominently boys so we were pretty convinced that was going to be our life too. Karis was a schedule c-section - which by the way, is the weirdest thing ever knowing the exact day that you are going to have a baby. I remember the night before she was born sitting in bed not knowing if she would be our last or if that was my last time being pregnant I was a bit emotional. I just laid there and felt her wiggling around for a long time soaking it all in. The next morning when she was born and they said "Its a girl!" I looked at Kyle sand said "Really?!" And just started balling my eyes out. They wrapped her up and I held her and couldn't even believe it. When we told our families they were all shocked since everyone through she was going to be a boy!
About a month after she was born, Kyle was at work and I got a call from my Doctors office. They told me they had found something in Karis' newborn screening test and I needed to go in and see them that day. I was terrified, absolutely terrified. I called Kyle crying, strapped the kids in the car and went in right away. My doctor is seriously the sweetest lady ever, she knows me and my personality and knew that I would not have been able to handle any news over the phone and wanted to talk to me in person. She explained that Karis had a positive result for the Cystic Fibrosis Gene. She also explained that this did not necessarily mean that she had CF, but that she could just be carrying the gene. After what felt like an hour in her office I left with so much worry. She told me not to google it, not to research it and to just go get further testing before we did anything. But how can you not do that? I didn't know much about CF and after reading a bit about it I was making it harder for myself to deal with the situation and decided to wait for the complete results before the worry took over.
I think it was about a week later they had set us up with an appointment at Children's Hospital where they would do a sweat test to determine the results as well as a meeting to go over what this could all mean. We had the meeting first, they explained that in order to get a positive result for CF both parents have to be carriers. If only one of us was a carrier she could just also be a carrier of the gene. But unfortunately it was not something that was tested for when we were babies so we had no idea if we were or not. They explained the ratios, the odds and then said if the result was positive we would come back for further information on what our future held with that. For the sweat test we had to wrap her up in layers and blankets and they put a small plate on her arm to collect the sweat. Once the test was complete they let us go home and said they would call that afternoon with the results. About 2 hours later they called and let us know that she does not have CF and that she is just a carrier of the gene and that when she is one day ready to or thinking about having children it would be a good idea to get her partner tested and decide at that point on their future decisions.
After all of this I was obviously relieved but I do want to take this time and say that for families that not only of course have children with CF but with any and all other health complications to worry about on a daily basis, I respect you SO much and you are SO strong!
So what did this mean for our future?
We decided after all of this that we would wait until she was 1 and talk about it then. When she turned 1 we decided that for us we knew it was going to be a decision based on the health of another child. Karis turned 1 in June 2014, and in the fall of that year we went in to get the referral for some genetic testing of ourselves before we had a decision made on a third baby. We did not realize how long the referral would take, and it was about 4 months before we got in to see them and then another 3 ish months before we got any results. When we went for our appointment we learned SO much about the genetics, the numbers, the facts. It was all so interesting to me. To break it down: we already knew that both of us had to be carriers for it to be a positive result. IF we were both carriers it would be a risk as it is a 1:4 chance and with having 2 healthy children we knew for us and our family that that was not a risk we would personally be taking. They had given us options of doing IVF but only implanting the ones without the gene etc. But we felt grateful enough with our 2 that that would have been the end of the road for us. We also knew at this point that one of us was a carrier and that there are still odds the next baby could also be a carrier like Karis. We had agreed at that point -prior to the results, that we didn't go through all of the testing to find out that it was safe to go ahead for a third, and then choose not to.
A few days before my 30th birthday last July, while I was laying on the couch healing from a disclocated knee feeling sorry for myself haha, I got the call. We found out that only 1 of us was a carrier and that we were safe to go ahead for a third... I was SOOO happy! I would have been ok with only having the 2 kids if it had came down to a medical health decision, but I knew in my heart that I always wanted three. Unfortunately we couldn't try right away since that would have put me due to have a baby in the middle of the crazy wedding season! So we waited and in February we found out that I was pregnant and I think I told ALL of my friends and family right away haha.
Sometimes life works in crazy ways and often we forget to be grateful for all that we have. I cant wait to complete our family with this last baby and take on all of the crazyness a mom of 3 has in store for me! #sendhelp
Social media makes everyones lives look flawless and easy, I wanted to share my story because even though I know that compared to others journeys ours may not be considered a hard one at all, but it is still ours and has been the journey of what we have gone through to get to where we are now.
And as always thank you Jordan Doak Photography for our balloon announcement photos!