Ok guys, we're getting real - real fast over here. I would be lying if I said that I had been looking forward to this birthday. In all honesty I have been dreading turning 30 for quite some time. I'm sure my friends were sick of hearing about it haha. I thought for a long time it was just the number of being 30 that was hard but when I sat down and really started thinking about it, it wasn't the number at all. It was the fact that with each year that goes by it is a constant reminder that life is short and as each year passes I feel like I am constantly looking back at memories and being blown away by how fast time goes by. Like the fact that my first child is almost 4, that Kyle and I have been married for 5 years, that my Dad was tragically taken from us 9 years ago and that I graduated highschool 12 years ago blows my mind.
But a few weeks ago I had an epiphany! I was up late one night and couldn't sleep because all I wanted to do was sulk on the fact that I was getting "old". Pathetic right? lol So I did what any normal 29 year old having a mild breakdown would do... I spent hours on pinterest reading article after blog post about "All of the things you should do by the time you're 30" "How to know you've made it by the time you're 30" "Things you should know about yourself by the time you're 30" And let me tell you... that was dumb, very, very dumb. After hours of reading and trying to figure out what the hell my problem was I decided to erase every article and blog post out of my memory and think hard about my life where I am, where I have come from, what I have gone through to get me here and compile some key things that I think are most important in life regardless of your age and what stage you are at ....
STOP CARING WHAT OTHERS THINK - Easier said then done I know. It took me a lot of years to finally feel comfortable in my own skin and to accept who I am. And MAN ALIVE! Am I so freakin' happy to be at the point where I can be me without worrying about being judged or about what others see! I can finally sit here and say that I love who I am. Even if I am sometimes a weirdo or can be super inappropriate or have no filter #pottymouthproblems, and some of my friends may refer to me as "vivid" or "bold" (you know who you are lol) but I am still a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a business owner, a sensitive soul, a dancing fool, a caring person who loves my people with all that I am, a music loving loud singing embrace it all type of person and I am proud of who I have become. So take it or leave it, this is me. The only person worth comparing yourself to is who you used to be.
INVEST IN THOSE THAT INVEST IN YOU - So cliche right? But its TRUE!! I have the most amazing group of close friends and I am forever grateful and thankful to have them in my life. They have seen my at lowest, cared for me during hard times and we have built many amazing memories. Those are the friendships I will be forever continuing to invest my time into. Quality over quantity people. This isnt highschool ;) Drop all of those toxic people in your life and focus on the ones who build you up. And to quote a line from one of the speeches given to us at our wedding "We will always have each other because we are all too lazy to find new friends" I love my tribe.
FAMILY COMES FIRST - Being a business owner can sometimes have its struggles. You prioritize things in weird ways because you are the single only person getting shit done. However, I have learned that yes I absolutely love what I do and love all of my clients, my family is the most important and I am still working on it but I am finally ok with saying no and putting work aside to focus on the people I love. You will never look back and say that you spent too much time with your family.
DATE YOUR SPOUSE - Make time to spend together and devote quality time to one another! Go out and do something fun like you did when you were first dating, it will help to forever keep the spark alive! And even though when Kyle and I go on our dates I wonder what we ever talked about for 11 years before we had kids, I enjoy every minute of it!
IT'S OK TO ASK FOR HELP - This has always been a hard one for me. And this last week especially being out of commission with my knee injury I have had the most amazing help with the kids from Kyle's Mom and my Mom and of course Kyle. He literally did almost everything for me last week and at one point I joked to him about how I was an independent woman as I was laying on the couch with an ice pack on my knee and as he brought me my dinner laughing I realize that being independent does not mean that you cant ask for help when you need it. It just means that you are wise enough to know that not everything can be done alone and sometimes thats the most independent choice you can make.
HANGRY IS A REAL EMOTION - For real. Food is a staple of my emotional well being and shit hits the fan when I'm starving. New goal - pack myself snacks everywhere I go not just the kids.
NETFLIX AND CHILL - Like the real kind haha! Relax and watch mindless tv in your pajamas every chance you get.
GROW THROUGH WHAT YOU GO THROUGH - Everything happens for a reason, I know this is a common statement but beyond everything I have said I truly believe this with all that I am. Every heartache, every struggle, every bit of self doubt, every time you get rejected, every tear, every bad decision and every life event that has an impact whether positive or negatively, happens for a reason! You are who you are because what you have gone through has developed you into this person. When life puts you in a hard place and you feel defeated (like being on crutches for your birthday haha) just know that it's worth it, it's all worth it and you will look back and be a stronger person from it.
DANCE YOUR HEART OUT - Maybe not quite as hard as I did to Gangnam last weekend which left me on crutches for my birthday but whatever :P Dancing heals the soul and who freakin' cares if you're good, If you're having fun thats all that matters! I was having a fantastic time before I ended up in the ER and if I am going down, at least I went down like that! But I think from now on I'll stick to my shopping cart, washing the dishes or cutting the grass dance moves!
STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE - Take chances, try new things, see new places, be brave - even if it makes you uncomfortable. That means it's worth it.
LAUGH IT OFF - We all have a story and a reason we are who we are, but the only thing I think that can help anyone heal from any hard situations is to get your ass up, dust yourself off and laugh it off. Life is WAY to short to dwell on hard times. Don't push feelings under the rug don't ignore grief, but eventually... move on. It's good for you. "When life shuts a door, open it again. It's a door - thats how they work"
IT'S OK TO NOT HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER - I am a hot mess 90% of the time. I get eyelash extensions on a regular basis just so that I can get out of bed and to make it look like I am put together. But in reality I am a scatter brained, top knot, yoga pant wearing adult who has no idea what day it is half of the time and is too busy giving her kids a yogurt tube and fruit snacks for breakfast because we are half an hour late for whatever it is we have going on that day. Having your life together is over rated.
ALWAYS SAY YES TO ICE CREAM! - You need to live your life and no matter how hard you work at a diet, or a healthy lifestyle there is ALWAYS an appropriate time for a treat. Because really... what is a life without dessert anyways?
THROW KINDNESS AROUND LIKE CONFETTI - That shit's free. Kind people are my kind of people.
WHO CARES IF IT'S A WEEKDAY, SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A DRINK! - Enough said.
WHEN THE GLASS IS HALF EMPTY, JUST DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE - "If you see your glass as half empty, just pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching."
SET REALISTIC GOALS - I have never been one to look too far into the future but I always try to remember that "success is a series of small wins" and the tiny hurdles matter just as much.
ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS - The tiniest most simple things in life mean so much more then most of us appreciate.
And last but not least...
EMBRACE THE LAUGH LINES - I always joke about how I don't look 30 (even if that is a figment of my imagination) and how I am doing well in the wrinkle department and then I was looking at some photos of myself with my common huge wide open mouth head back laugh and realized that if the wrinkles I am starting to develop are from laugh lines... I'm totally ok with that!
I hope this next decade is as freakin' amazing as the last and I can't wait to see where this life takes me! I love you all!! Thank you for making my 30th birthday an unforgettable one!
*And a huge shoutout to one of my best friends Jordan Doak Photography for making my Birthday shoot everything I had wanted!